Chasing Rainbows

Why is it that to get to the rainbows we have to run through the rain?

Why is it that when we chase a rainbow we can never actually reach it? Those bastards move! No matter how close you get. Every time you get within reach it jumps away again. 

Metaphorically speaking here.

Lately, it seems like no matter how close I get to having a decent life and things being in order, things get ripped out from under me again. I don't get what I'm doing wrong. I try, try, try, and nothing ever comes of it. Either Mister goes a little manic and blows the money or a vehicle breaks down. 

Take what's been going on recently as an example of what I mean. 

He FINALLY was put in a position to get a job at home. After years of me begging he is finally home with us every night. It was such an amazing feeling to see him walk through that door every day. I don't even mind his snoring at night anymore. 

So, he's got this job at home, in town, how ever you want me to put it. They are paying for him to take classes, paying him for going to the classes, then letting him go to work afterward. We were finally get our priorities in line. Then all of a sudden his truck starts running hot. We thought we fixed it but a few days later, it happened again. Then, again and again and again. Until I finally told him to park it and look at it. He cracked the water pump some. 

So, the truck is no longer operational. At least until he finds a new pump, which is apparently very expensive. We talk it over and he starts driving my car to school, then work, and home. 

How is that going?

Oh, my beautiful, nearly brand new Maxima is sitting on a donut because he was on facebook while he was driving, ran off the road, got a hole, bent the rum and busted the tire. That's just my version of what I think happened. He says, he was doing the speed limit which he never does. All of a sudden the steering wheel gets really loose. Then lights on the dash light up saying traction control has went out, followed by the air gauge sensor. He said after that he slowed to 30 mph and the tire blew. 

I'm having a hard time believing it. I guess because I drive it all the time. 

I know my car! 

I just want things to get better! They don't have to be okay. They don't have to be perfect. Just better. That's all I ask. Is for a more normal life.

Pointless Tears

I've cried pretty much nonstop for three to four days. Yesterday, was my only break from the chaos. 

Mister decided to cut his dosage in half without talking to anyone. Not me. Not his mom. Not his doctor. After losing his job a few months ago, we thought his insurance would end; which meant he would have to stop taking his pills until his new insurance kicked in. I was all for at first because he has been doing so well. This is our first time for him to go off of his meds. I didn't think he would change so drastically so fast. 

He's been only taking his medicine once a day for three weeks, and he should be taking it twice a day. Obviously, it just starting coming out of his system good about a week ago. That's when the chaos started. He's really unstable but not really a danger yet. 

He can't seem to concentrate and won't tell the truth, even about simple things.